Info

Sydney, Australia

Posts from the Funny Category

A Cottesloe man who admitted pulling down his pants and revealing all to girls at a bar in Murray Street copped a hammering from the Chief Magistrate in court yesterday.

The court was told Stewart sat down next to two women and pulled down his shorts to expose his penis.

The women were "disturbed and offended" by his actions and went to complain to the manager, who ejected Stewart from the bar.

Police had walked into the pub for another matter when the women raised the incident with them.

Prosecuting Sergeant Bob Morgan said a "heavily intoxicated" Stewart was later arrested near the intersection of Murray and William streets and refused to speak to police about the allegations.

In court yesterday, Stewart was at a loss to explain his actions to bemused Chief Magistrate Steven Heath, who labelled the man a "drunken idiot".

Stewart said he "roughly" agreed with the allegations and told the court the women he was talking to were "amused" by it, which sparked a furious retort from Mr Heath.

"They were that amused they went and told the manager and called the police," he said.

His next comments to the dumbfounded Stewart evoked several chuckles from those in the court room.

"They were probably laughing at the size of your appendage more than anything.

"They were laughing at you, not with you."

Mr Heath noted Stewart’s string of recent disorderly conduct offences and urged him to start attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

Source: WAtoday.com.au

I think this device would be particularly useful for all those road tripsBumperdumper-420x0  across this wide open land we call home – Australia.

Developed in the US (no, not by Kenny) and available from bumperdumper.com for US$70 is a dunny that attaches to a cars towbar…and it even includes a full-size toilet seat!

Over the last couple of months citibank have been advertising new credit cards on TV. The gist of it is that you get 1.99% p.a. on balance transfers but anything you buy using the new card attracts a low rate of 19.99% p.a.

At the start of the commercial they question why pay 18% or 19% p.a.?

whypay19percent

Then in the fine print you see it – ‘annual percentage rate on purchases is 19.99%’!

whenyoucanpay20

So – why pay 18% or 19% when you can pay 20% interest? See citibank today for this great tv only offer!

During the week i was lucky enough to receive a new coffee mug from our telecommunications provider. Why did i receive the mug i hear you ask? Well because one of their wholly owned subsidiaries wants to come in and do a “free” virtualisation assessment, provide me with the report then want me arrange a meeting with our CFO, tout the cost savings of virtualisation and then spend tens of thousands with the subsidiary in implementing a solution. Sounds GREAT!

Anyway, the best thing about the mug was actually the accompanying marketing material:

bmm 

specs

results may vary

t&cs

cartoon

Near my office building in the Sydney CBD is a free parking area for motorbikes. Over the last couple of weeks someone (note: a pygmy!) has been riding this big monster in to work…

dailyride

In the lift heading out of my apartment complex was the advertisement shown below:

for sale 

These two girls surely must have majored in marketing as well as English going by all the laughs the ad was getting by fellow tenants.

Note the first item that they (presumably) sold – 1 Mattress of married. When i first saw this i thought; A SINGLE MATTRESS USED BY 2 GIRLS?!?!?!

After this initial excitement reality set in that perhaps it is no more than a stain-covered, urine smelling example that was picked up 5 months ago outside a retirement village and has not gotten any better with age.

Not willing to risk it i didn’t phone up to inspect. But what the hell was it?!

Other notable items for sale include:

  • a sofa (with TWO SEATS)
  • a CRAB(?)
  • …AND MORE

This reminds me of a marketing experiment a couple of aussies conducted on eBay with a used bmx – rad to the power of sick!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.